About

I started this blog to help me come to terms with my mother’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease. It’s selfish in the sense that it works for me but I hope that it might be of interest or use to others in a similar position.

Dementia is the cruellest of conditions and it’s affecting more and more people. There is help out there, particularly from charities but my experiences have led me to believe that successive governments have chosen to ignore the enormous impact care for those with dementia will have on us all in the future. If I can play a very small part in forcing those in positions of authority to take notice, the experiences of my family will have some positive outcome.

5 Responses to About

  1. SB says:

    Thanks for sharing , I go to stay with my dad aged 89 every month or so for a few days – he is still in own home with my very fragile mum and a live in carer who so far has been with us 20 months plus all night sitters and a morning carer…a great arrangement. Lots of things in common with your experiences eg shoes on at night, dont want to go up to bed, and of course some differences.. dad still welcomes and adapts to my visits.. Sister in law is local and so the mainstay of the whole thing. Singing for the Brain – dad adores Jill s sessions, and I have helped start one in the NW where I live and volunteer with the AS. The one anchor still is dad’s love for his wife…who..?… The whole experience for me as offspring however cannot remotely approach hers, , and it is that which strikes me most now when I kiss her goodnight, and give him a hug – that I am trying to keep the link each to the other ..while they are still with us. Best wishes for your family,

    • Thank you SB. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my Dad had lived to see the full inset of dementia but, in a way, I’m relieved he didn’t. It would have been so distressing for him to try to cope with Mum and he’d have had to make the heartbreaking decision about permanent care outside of the family home. It was hard enough for my sister and I but it would have been so painful for him.
      Keep hugging as long as you can. I’m reduced to a peck on the forehead for Mum most days. The intimacy which gradually disappeared from our conversation has now gone from greetings. When you refer to Jill’s Singing for the Brain, are you referring to sessions in Watford? If so, I might have met your Dad when I sat in earlier this year.
      Wishing you and your family all the very best,
      Duncan

  2. Hi Duncan,

    I’m a journalism student at City University and am currently making a documentary looking into the working conditions for care workers in the elderly sector and seeing how that affects the standard of care being provided. I have had a lot of experience with the elderly and with dementia in particular, both through family experiences and volunteering at a care home in Clapham. I’m so impressed by your efforts and am happy that at least you mother, in her condition, can rely on her son to think of what is best for her and continue to provide her with love. As part of our documentary, if you thought it would be okay, I would love to be able to speak to you and discuss your thoughts on how the government is addressing dementia (or not) on what you think the major issues are!

    Regardless, thanks for reading my message and I wish you and your mum all the best.

    Tom

  3. I’ve really enjoyed reading your blogs and found them very useful. I am starting a dementia project in South Wales, and the insights and real experiences you have have given us some insights and made us think about how it might work. Its a story based project where young people and children spend time with their parents/older people/friends and capture these in different forms – written, drawn, video and scrapbooking, so they get a memory box. Its a history project and a box of memories for the children and the older people. Do you have any knowledge of similar projects? We are going to work with a local school later this term. thank you

    • Thanks for your kind comments. I’m pleased I’ve given you some food for thought. I’m afraid I don’t know of any similar projects though I’ll ask around. I spend some time working in South Wales so I’d be very interested in following your project.

      Duncan

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