Sheila Janice Jones 03/02/1937 – 04/05/2017

Mum xx

When I started this blog some six years ago, I knew I’d have to write this post one day. This morning, shortly after midnight, Mum died. After sitting at her bedside for two days, neither my sister nor I were with her when it happened – but perhaps that’s how she wanted it to be. I’m so grateful that one person – a special person called Michelle – was at her side, holding her hand when the end came. From the day she moved in, Mum has had the very best care at The Firs but her care over the past few days, as her life ebbed away, topped everything.

Mum lived with a diagnosis of dementia for eight years but probably lived with that cruellest of diseases for several years more. For most of that time, she was cheerful, a smile never far from her lips, a laugh lurking nearby. In the end, Mum could smile and laugh no more. She was so tired and she needed to find peace.

I’ll miss her more than words in this blog or elsewhere can say. For years, I’ve been missing the Mum I grew up with, the Mum to whom I owe so much. Now I’ll also miss the Mum who coped so cheerfully with everything dementia could throw her, the Mum who might not have known my name any longer but whose smile told me she still knew me.

mum birthday

I’ll miss my regular visits to The Firs, to the amazing staff who made Mum’s final years so comfortable and so secure. To them, we owe so much. The fight to raise awareness about dementia will go on.

The last thing I said to Mum was how much I loved her and that she will always remain in my heart. She’s there now.

Mum

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5 Responses to Sheila Janice Jones 03/02/1937 – 04/05/2017

  1. Mark munro says:

    Thinking of you and your family Duncan. Such amazing moving wonderful words always from you but particularly in the last few days. Several times brought tears to my eyes and I know you will cry plenty. But am sending all my thoughts and love. Your mum is at peace now and as you said had such wonderful care and love over the last few years.
    Take care
    Mark

  2. Sue says:

    I second Mark’s words here Duncan. The cruellest of diseases took too much of your lovely Mum’s life and selfishly deprived you, Fiona and the wider family of her too. The only positive things that can be said in all this is that she is at peace now, was supremely well cared for to the end and left this world secure in the knowledge that she was beloved by and cared for by you all to the end and beyond. Thinking of you all at this sad time. Margaret, John, Sue and Jonathan xxxx

  3. Nick Bagge says:

    I’m so sorry Duncan. We begin the dementia journey knowing there’s only one way out, there being no cure or magic pill (as yet) to halt the disease in its tracks. But that doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye. She is now at rest, free from the disease, with your dad. She may not have had the words to say thank you, so I’ll say it instead. Thank you for the incredible honestly and empathy you have shared with all of us; thank you for allowing us to go on the journey with you; thank you for raising awareness of dementia. I hope you have come through it with some positives and gains, not just the inevitable sadness and frustrations. I hope you have seen a few glimmers of hope for the future.

    You and Fi are in my thoughts. The numbness will take time to ease, but your mum and dad would be immensely proud that their values of compassion and love are imprinted in you.

    As you said, she’s there in your heart.

  4. Thank you Nick. Those are lovely words. D

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